On preaching and teaching by example

"Teaching by words and deeds", perhaps, for a literate, knowledgeable and educated parent, can indeed bring great help to their children. However, not every parent learns to be rich in five cars, and most of them are for the family's "three meals". They are busy with work and running around every day, and spend very little time with their children. In view of the reality, as a parent, how can it be regarded as "teaching by words and deeds" to the children?

Usually, I often hear that everyone is discussing the topic of their children's academic performance. Some parents who complain about their children's poor grades even make me think! For example: "I'm not literate, so I can't read or comment on the articles written by the child"; "When the child is in elementary school, I can still understand some math problems, and I can point out and correct some mistakes. I can't help you"; "The child can't do some homework at home, and I don't understand if I ask me, so I have to let him go back to school and ask the teacher" and so on. These words and attitudes of parents are almost normal.

Our parents are adults. When we encounter difficulties in life or work, we will always find ways to seek help to solve them. What about the child? They are still in the student stage of studying. Whether they are primary school students or high school students, they grow up in an environment other than home and school. They are very simple-minded and will never be as mature as us as parents. So, who should help and guide them more? Undoubtedly, it is the parents who bear the brunt of this.

As far as my family is concerned, my wife is much more worried than me when it comes to educating the kids! When the child's grades are at a low point, she will go to the school to find teachers to learn more about the child's learning situation. Where is the problem of poor grades? After figuring it out, go home to remind and urge the children to work hard on certain deficiencies to overcome them one by one. If you are too busy with work and can’t find time, or some problems are difficult for us to solve, then we will contact some teaching teachers for help, and let children use QQ to ask teachers for advice on the computer, and never let it go. There is inertia in children's learning, and even they are tired of learning, which is also annoyed by many parents, but no matter what, always try to help children develop an interest in learning. In this regard, parents need to understand the characteristics of their children, and then spend energy to create a variety of learning environments that interest children, such as: usually targeting some idioms, telling children stories about idioms, getting together at the dinner table, and discussing some ancient times historical fragments, etc., to liven up the atmosphere and arouse children's interest. In this way, children can be encouraged to consciously and actively devote themselves to learning, rather than insisting on the old-fashioned "strict control" of accusing and scolding.

In addition, the school often arranges parents to participate in some activities, such as: making handicrafts with their children, inviting parents to go to school to accompany their children to participate in certain activities, and allowing parents to actively participate in some essay and painting campaigns. In this regard, no matter how busy my husband and wife are, we have to separate ourselves and put our energy into it. Because the child also has a comparison mentality. When he sees his classmate's parents participating, but his own parents are not, or sees his parents' attitude towards various activities is negative, or even indifferent. Then, the child will have a sense of loss, feel that his parents are mediocre and incompetent, have no side worthy of his admiration, cannot rely on his thoughts and actions, and will also have a sense of inferiority in front of teachers and classmates! In this way, parents will not be able to erect a tall image in the minds of their children. In this case, what can we say about making children feel the warmth of love and the confidence to study hard in their hearts? Gradually, parents will lose their status in the minds of their children and become more and more difficult to manage.

Maybe, some parents will think that I don't understand the content of those activities, or I don't know much about it, so it's not easy to participate, and it will "make a fool of yourself" if you insist! Does this concern seem reasonable? In fact, no matter it is elementary school or high school, the content of the various activity notices sent by the school to parents is not so mysterious and unfathomable. It is less than a certain level, but it can reflect that we as parents can do our best for our children, so that there is a joy in our hearts! Also make it subconsciously, increase the interest in studying. When a child encounters a problem in learning, as a parent, they will try their best to ask their child to ask more teachers for advice... On the contrary, when our parents face the theme of the activities sent from the school, should parents who do not understand should also find a corresponding "teacher" "To "instruct"? I believe that among the relatives, friends or colleagues of the parents, there must be someone who understands who can ask for advice. To give up or to participate is entirely up to the attitude of the parents. If parents can't lead by example in this regard, how can they be harsh on their children?

Learning is not only for children, but also for us parents. If children do not study, they cannot master knowledge; if parents do not study, it is difficult for them to keep pace with the times and to set a better example for their children. At the same time, every step should be taken together by parents and children.

"Teaching by words and deeds", I think it is not only parents who instill their own cognitions into their children, but at the same time, parents must also know how to empathize, to value, analyze or accept some of their children's cognitions and ideas. As a parent, let alone rebuke or force children to rely on what they know and know. Not only does this not work, but sometimes it is even counterproductive.

Based on the above, I think that parents and children should aim to communicate with each other, encourage each other, and encourage each other. This is the true meaning of "teaching by words and deeds".

(Contributed by: Business Colin Liangmin)